Jugs of Sake
by IniRniDefunct
Summary: Sasuke plans a prank on Naruto after being played on by him. What happens if he decides to extend the prank to others, especially with jugs of sake?


"Sexy technique!" Naruto yelled, transforming himself into a hot, naked girl.

His short spiky blond hair was now waist-length, up in pigtails, and his body became curvy with C-cup breasts. He held his finger to his lips, kissing his finger tips as he winked at Sasuke. Sasuke stared at the girl, widening his eyes and felt his nose running and held it with his left hand. He turned away, his face becoming hot and deep pink. Sakura, on the other side of Naruto, was gob-smacked with shock at Naruto.

"You fucking moron!" yelled Sakura.

She swung a punch and landed on Naruto's nose, sending him flying backwards where crashed into a wall. She turned around and glared at Sasuke.

"And you, pervert!" she said, raising her fist.

"What—wait, Sakura!" he yelped, stepping backwards away from her.

It wasn't enough to get out of Sakura's aim as her fist connected with his torso. The force of the punch sent him flying in the opposite direction of Naruto's crash landing. Groaning, Sasuke opened his eyes, watching Sakura leave. He looked over to Naruto and glared.

'_That idiot! That actually hurt! I'll get my revenge on you, Naruto for performing that technique on me!' _he thought, clenching his fists. _'I'll show Sakura that I am not a pervert!'_

Naruto let out a whimper, opening his left eye lid and spotted Sasuke. He chuckled nervously and winced. Sasuke's glare increased in intensity at Naruto.

"What a punch, huh, Sasuke…?" he asked.

"Fuck you," Sasuke said, using his elbows to get up and limped away.

Naruto let out a pout, watching him walk away and he stood up, his injuries healed by the power of the nine tails fox within him.

'_Took you long enough,' _Naruto thought, stretching to get the kinks out of his muscles.

'_Shut up Naruto,'_ the demon fox said.

nmnmnmnm

'_The plan better succeed,' _Sasuke thought.

It had been a week since the incident with Naruto and Sasuke finally came up with a plan. He stuffed his hands into his pocket and walked to places where Naruto might be. As he scoured the town for him, he asked some of the people who might know where he is. Most of the people replied with an answer that he might be in some training grounds. With enough information in hand, he checked the areas where Naruto might be training.

Sasuke found Naruto practicing genjutsu and he called out to him.

"Hey Naruto."

"Oh!" Naruto stopped his hand signs and turned to Sasuke, "hey Sasuke!"

"I was wondering if you and Sakura could join me for a meal or something," Sasuke asked.

Naruto eyed him, arching an eyebrow and grinned, "Great! Let's eat some ramen at Ichiraku."

"No, let's not eat there tonight," said Sasuke, letting out a sharp exhale.

"Honestly, you really need to eat some other types of food more often," he said, shaking his head, running his fingers through his hair.

"Oh fine," Naruto said, crossing his arms and pouted. "What's _your_ idea?"

"I'm thinking of eating at Ichiban restaurant, that acceptable?"

"I don't know… there are a lot of rowdy people there," Naruto said slowly, uncrossing his arms.

Sasuke sighed, looking at Naruto in the eye, "Please, Naruto?"

Naruto stared at Sasuke, arching an eyebrow, _'He rarely ever says please… _something_ is up.'_

"Sure, why not," Naruto said, exhaling an air of exasperation.

"Great, let's go find Sakura," Sasuke said, flashing a smirk.

Later that evening, Naruto, Sakura and Sasuke entered the restaurant and spotted Gai's team was there as well. Naruto looked at Sasuke, wondering if this was part of the plan. Sasuke shrugged his shoulders.

"Coincidence maybe?" said Sasuke, walking to their table.

"Hey there Neji, Lee, Ten-Ten!" greeted Naruto, sitting down.

"Oh hey there!" said Ten-Ten, waving at Kakshi's team, "What brings you here?"

"I don't know, Sasuke wanted us to come, so ask him," Naruto replied, his teammates sat down on either side of him.

The five genins looked at Sasuke for an answer, Sasuke shrugged his shoulders.

"What? You all act like I have something up my sleeves! Is it a crime for me to just come here with my comrades and have fun?" asked Sasuke, crossing his arms. The six of them heard a shouting match elsewhere in the place. Naruto looked over to where the commotion was taking place.

"But… But… Why is the rum gone!" yelled a stranger.

Sakura studied the stranger's clothes and frowned.

"That man isn't anywhere from here or any where else I know. Look at his… his… poor excuse for _rags!" _she said, her nose cringed up in disgust.

Naruto looked at the clothes and found the pirate was wearing black and white striped shirt, a bandanna covering the top of his head. An eye patched covered his right eye. His face was covered with scraggly beard that is in need of a deep cleaning or shaving. He wore a strange looking sword and a gun holstered by his belt.

"I'm sorry sir, but we don't have rum… we have sake," the bartender said.

"Grr, sake is _weak_. I'll have me some five jugs of sake," the stranger said, sitting down on the stool.

"Yeah, that man looks weird…" Naruto agreed, turning around to face them again. "So, what's for dinner?"

A waitress walked by and Naruto waved for her, "miss!"

"Yes?"

"We'd like have some food," he said, scratching the back of his head, chuckling.

"Ah, you all ready to order then?" she asked, taking her notebook and pencil out.

The six genins ordered their meals, along with their choice of drinks. Sasuke shifted his eyes at Naruto as he ordered his drink.

"I'll have three jugs of sake, please."

Naruto nearly exclaimed at this point, but Sasuke covered his mouth as he waited for the waitress to leave. He dropped his hand go, sighing.

"What are you insane, Sasuke!" Naruto yelled.

"Shut up," Sasuke said, stuffing his hand into his pockets.

"Are you going to drink yourself into stupor or something?" Sakura asked in accusing tone.

Sasuke stayed silent and the people at the table frowned at him and began conversing themselves.

"Oi Sakura!" yelled a voice and the genins turned and saw Asuma's team entering the place.

"I heard you were eating here tonight, so I thought we'd join you. Kiba and his team came along too! It'll be a great party tonight," she said, grinning.

"Oh, yeah!" exclaimed Naruto, clenching his fist and pumped one in the air. "Party's on!"

As their dinner was served, along with Sasuke's special request of three jugs of Sake, the six began eating dinner. Neji stared at Lee, making sure he didn't pick up sake and drink it. The previous memory was too horrifying, and he would see to that Lee will not take a single sip of it. Sasuke put his hands under the table after he finished eating his food as he stared at Naruto's cup.

"So, Hinata-chan, how's your training coming along?" asked Naruto, stuffing his mouth with two plates worth of teriyaki steak and fried rice.

"O-oh, it's coming along fine, Naruto," she replied, sipping her glass of water.

"That's good!" Naruto said, grinning as he picked up his cup and drank.

He frowned at the taste and shrugged, the lemonade was better tasting than usual. Naruto stopped, setting the cup down with a loud slam. "Wait a second, that wasn't lemonade…" he muttered.

Sasuke smirked and stared at others' cups and a plan came into his mind. He wanted to grin, but controlled his face in order to keep his innocence. He kept his hands under the table, doing signs to transfer sake into each cup and no one noticed. Save for Lee's cup, Sasuke thought. He remembered the story that Neji told him a while back. This place would never withstand Lee's drunken stupor. He took his hands out from under the table and poured himself a cup of sake.

He raised the cup to the genins, smirking, "cheers, everyone."

"CHEERS!" everyone shouted, raising their cups high and drank it.

Sasuke pretended to take a sip as he watched others down the cup with a few gulps. No more than five gulps of sake, red tinge soon touched everyone's cheeks, save Lee's, as they continued to eat their meals. Along with their drinks, their conversations among themselves becoming wilder and topics became raunchier. Sasuke made sure to keep refilling the cup, resisting the temptation to grin at their foolishness.

"Oh Hinata-chan," murmured Naruto, raising his cup to her, "how I love your body. It is _so_ beautiful!"

"Naruto-kun! I had admired you from afar and I never once thought you'd think so highly of me…" she said to him, leaning forward. "I feel so tipsy."

"Me too… I think I want… want…" he muttered, leaning closer.

A door banged open loudly and the two bonked their heads together, with simultaneous shouts of 'ow!'

"My, my," a voice said, "what a party it is tonight. Don't you think, Sasuke?"

Sasuke's eyes widened as he felt a tinge in his left shoulder and snarled. Sasuke hated the curse mark left behind the enemy.

"Orochimaru. What are you doing here?" Sasuke asked, gritting his teeth.

"Oh nothing much, just looking for you. I see your comrades have… gotten drunk. How interesting."

"Who is he, Sasuke," Lee whispered.

"An enemy," Sasuke replied, glaring at Orochimaru. "He used to be one of us, Hidden Leaf Shinobi. Or, shall I say, Orochimaru."

"_Him?_" Lee said, getting himself ready.

"I suggest you not to interfere with us tonight, Orochimaru. Go away, you're not needed," Sasuke said, looking away.

"So cold," Orochimaru said, sighing.

He walked away, then went to the bar, and sat down next to the stranger with slurring speech. Orochimaru stared at the stranger, raising an eyebrow.

"G'on, hav'a drink, mate! Arrhg!" he said, slamming his jug of sake on the bar, grinning.

Orochimaru's stomach squelched at the sight of his teeth and shivered.

"No thank you, I rather like my sharp mind," he said and sniffed.

He wished he had not sniffed then, the drunken stranger _protruded_ with odors he would rather not know where it came from. It smelled as though the stranger had not bathed for _months._ Shuddering, he wished he never sat next to this foul man. He picked up the cup and downed the sake in one gulp, wanting to erase the memory of the horrible state of the stranger's teeth and body odor. He refilled the cup and downed some more.

"Alright, matey! Yer drunking it all up!" he cheered, patting Orochimaru on the back.

Feeling like his stomach was going to give way, he swallowed to get rid of the gagging feeling in his stomach. He knew he had to get away from the stranger _now. _

"Thank you for the sake," Orochimaru said, taking the jug with him. "Mind if I take this? Thanks."

He left without getting a reply from the stranger. Orochimaru tipped forward and kept his balance up, swaying.

'_Okay, that got me more than I thought,'_ he thought as he sat down next to Sasuke, grinning.

He raised his jug in cheers and drank some more sake and set it down on the table.

"Ah, Sasuke-kun…" he muttered, snaking his hand around Sasuke's neck.

"You are so hot," he said, leaning forward, "So talented, so smart, and so… _strong. _I want it _all_."

Orochimaru's tongue snaked out, stretching and touched Sasuke's ears lightly.

Sasuke froze the moment he saw Orochimaru sit down next to him. Feeling disgusted, he tried to move away but the tongue reached his ears. Resisting the urge to vomit, he downed his cup of sake. Revolted, he refilled the cup with more sake and drank some more. When two cups of sake did not satisfy him, he took the jug and drank half of what was left.

He wanted to forget what Orochimaru had said and done to him. Everyone else around him, except Lee, had no idea what was going on. Lee looked like he was going to be sick too, his face paled at the sight of Orochimaru. He covered his mouth with his hand and looked around for something to drink and picked the cup up and drank it. Sasuke realized, belatedly, that Lee drank sake.

'_Oh no, here comes trouble,'_ Sasuke thought.

'…_Okay, none of this is my fault. I'll just forget this evening ever happened,' _ he decided, shaking his head.

With those thoughts in mind, he took the last jug of sake and drank a fourth of its contents. Setting the jug down, he let out a sigh, feeling the alcohol take over his mind and forgot himself.

"Oro-chan," Sasuke muttered and smirked as he leaned towards him, "Why do you look like a ghost? Your skin is so pale."

"Idiot! I was a' born with this body, Sasuke-kun," said Orochimaru, pointing at him and sighed.

"But sure-ly," Sakura said, slurring her words, "tha-at real body ya in isn't really _yo-our _body, ish it?"

"Well, of course this ain't my real body!"

"I wonder where his real body is…" muttered Naruto, hanging his arms around Hinata who sat on his lap.

"Aha, that, mah flesh was burned, grind'd up _finer_ than ashes, and then da powder was given to mah dear assistant, Kabuto. For experiments," he replied.

"Ew, how defiling," said Sakura, feeling queasy in her stomach.

"To you, it may be," Orochimaru said, shrugging.

Sasuke and Orochimaru continued to converse among themselves about several topics such as which genjutsu technique is the strongest. Meanwhile, Lee wrecking havoc in the restaurant in his drunken stupor, and a tipsy Ten-Ten and swaying but slightly sobered Neji tried to hold Lee down and failing. The stranger joined the fray, muttering about not letting a good fight be wasted.

Oblivious to the mayhem his comrades were causing, Naruto focused his attention on Hinata, giving her a broad smile. She returned the same drunken smile to him. The gazes between the two, if anyone was watching, were bubbling with alcohol and formed into hearts before popping. Hinata leaned to his ear and whispered.

"I love you, Naruto," she said.

"I love you too, Hinata-chan…" he muttered and leaned inward, resting his head on hers.

She smiled and sobered when she realized that Naruto was snoring softly. She sighed again, relaxing.

Naruto barely heard few people entering the place when the commotion began.

"What the—LEE!" someone yelled, jumping into the fray and tried to hold him down, "Shit, who let him drink sake!" Gai asked, trying his best to hold his precious student from causing further damage.

"What's going on here?" asked Kakashi, and received no reply.

He looked around, standing next to Sakura. "Hm?" He looked at Orochimaru and Sasuke talking.

"No way, _my_ fireballs rock more than _your_ snakes!" said Sasuke, raising his fist.

Kakashi stared at the pair, wondering what _was_ going on. _'Are they… are they talking about their manhood?'_

"Nuh-huh, snakes are more powerful than some justsu that I can conjure!" Orochimaru said, gritting his teeth as he raised his fist at Sasuke.

The two glared at each other with intensity of several thunderstorms. Kakashi paled at the situation, wondering how to resolve and sedate the children. He felt relieved to learn that it wasn't their manhood the pair were talking about.

"What a mess," muttered Jiraiya, shaking his head. "I'll go get Asuma and Kurenai for their teams."

"Right…" Kakashi said, walking over to the bartender. "What happened? How did the children get a hold of sake?"

"I don't know," he said, "I didn't serve them," he replied quickly, shivering at the glare Kakashi gave him.

"When you do know, I suggest you to either fire or retrain the employee," Jiraiya said, leaving and muttered few angry words under his breath.

Kakashi turned around and saw Naruto and Hinata and smirked and surveyed the area. He smirked, a gleam appeared in his eye.

'_You know, this would make for perfect blackmail…'_ he thought, taking his conveniently placed camera out of his numerous pockets and started taking pictures.

Chouji and Shikamaru were fighting over a steak that was held in there mouths and eventually Chouji started eating the meat and kissed Shikamaru.

_Click_

Ino and Sakura sang a song off key based on a pop star from a far away land. Kakashi figured that the said pop star was Brittney Spears. Sakura kissed Ino on the lips after swaying into her seat and losing balance.

_Click_

'_Hoo, hoo, hoo, these would sell great…'_ Kakashi thought, laughing evilly in his mind.

He saw Orochimaru and Sasuke and grinned.

"Sasuke-kun, you know I said that you are hot?" Orochimaru said, touching Sasuke's face.

"Ya?" muttered Sasuke.

"I'd love a taste of you…" he said, licking his cheek with his long, purple tongue.

'_Urgk, I should rescue Sasuke… hopefully he won't remember this,'_ Kakashi thought, walking over and pulled Sasuke up by his collar.

"What the—! Hey!" yelled Sasuke as Kakashi dragged him away from Orochimaru.

'_You'll thank me later if you do remember…'_ Kakashi thought, taking more pictures of the mayhem.

Neji, Ten-Ten, Gai all tried to hold Lee down as he chopped up more tables and chairs. The attempt failed when Lee fell backwards and rolled with it, landing on top of Ten-Ten. Neji, losing his balance after Lee's leg knocked his right let away, fell on top of Lee in a compromising position. Gai, being surprised by the turn of events, landed on Neji, holding his hand on Neji's butt.

_Click_

Kiba slung his arm around Shino, holding a small jug of sake in his other hand, grinning at his friend. His dog, Akamaru, whined at Kiba, and Kakashi arched an eyebrow. Akamaru jumped out of Kiba's shirt and walked on the table, stopping next to Shino and began urinating. Kakashi chuckled, shaking at Kiba for not taking the dog out when it needed to go.

Kiba and Shino simply stared at Akamaru, veins throbbing at their temples as they stared at the puppy, who continued to use Shino as a fire hydrant.

_Click_

"AKAMARU!"

'_These pictures _are _priceless_,_' _he thought, stuffing the camera away into his pocket. Still holding on to Sasuke's collar, he waited for Jiraiya and the others.

Just as the thought entered his mind, people entered the restaurant and stopped.

"I thought it wasn't that bad, but—this!" said Asuma, ogling the scene.

"Yeah, this is not good," Kurenai said.

"Well, let's apprehend Orochimaru, first," Tsunade said, pushing through the crowds and stopped behind Orochimaru.

"Oh, hellooo Tsunade-chan!" he said cheerfully, "sake?"

"No, you're going to jail," Tsunade said, picking Orochimaru up by the collar. "And this is the end of the road for you!"

"Tsk, I knew this was a mistake to stay here…" Orochimaru said, sighing.

Tsunade held Orochimaru by the hair and the neck, walking out. As soon as they stepped outside, Orochimaru smirked, his body disappeared with a puff of smoke.

"What—a clone! I thought he was drunk!" yelled Tsunade.

"Ooh, hoo, I was, indeed, drunk," said Orochimaru.

Puzzled, she looked up and found him swaying on top of the telephone post. Tsunade snarled and jumped up to catch him. Before she could reach him, he disappeared.

"Damnit!" she cursed, clenching her fist and pounded into the earth, creating a five-foot crater.

Inside, each team leader successfully gathered their charges, with a nod to each other, the teachers left the restaurant. The only person remained behind was the stranger, who felt dumbfounded. Bartender looked at him and a gleam appeared in his eye.

"You're paying for all the damages tonight and repairing it," he said.

"No way! No pirates ever pay for damages or fix places! Ye landlubber, will!" the stranger yelled, running out of the restaurant.

The owner sighed, _'damn, so much for free labor.'_

nmnmnmnm

The next day, Naruto found himself buried in his blankets, his legs tangled up. In the confusion, Naruto tried to roll out of bed and stopped when a queasy feeling overcame him in his stomach, his vision filled with black spots.

"Ugh."

Naruto groaned, holding his stomach with one hand, the other covered his eyes to block the bright rays of the morning sun. _'Holy hell, I feel _fucking _horrible. What the hell did I do?'_

He lied on his back, wondering what he did the previous night. All he conjured was the memory of Hinata confessing her love for him and grinned at the memory. Stomach grumbled as his face flashed green.

"Oh fuck," he muttered to himself.

Naruto tried standing up and tripped over the blankets, trying to get to _anything_ to hold the contents he was about to pour out. Grabbing a trash can, he began retching. Once his stomach calmed down, he sighed, wiping the sweat off his forehead with his sleeves.

He suddenly heard the doorbell, ringing loudly in his ears.

'_Fuck, that thing is _loud_! Who the hell is at the door at this crazy hour?'_ he thought, mumbling curses under his breath.

He opened the door and almost said, 'Get the fuck out of here,' and stopped when he saw who it was.

"Hina-Hinata-chan!" yelped Naruto and cringed, holding his head.

"Hey Naruto-kun," she greeted, "What's wrong?" asked Hinata, frowning. "Did you have a hangover too?"

"Ha—what? Hangover? But I didn't drink any sake!" Naruto said.

Hinata frowned, studying him carefully.

"How much of last night do you remember?"

"Er—just you, um… about…" Naruto said, his cheeks reddening. "That you… confessed."

"Oh, I'm so glad you remember that! Do you feel the same way or was it just your drunk self talking?" she asked, fidgeting with her fingers.

"I meant it, that I do love you, Hinata-chan," Naruto said.

"How… that's great news!" she said, lunging forward and hugged Naruto.

"Ow, ow, my head," groaned Naruto, leaning on her for support, "Please… don't talk."

Without another word, she helped Naruto back inside and set him on the bed. Hinata was about to take a step back but Naruto's hand grabbed her wrist, stopping her. She stared at him, a pink tinge appeared in her cheeks. She smiled and leaned in, kissing Naruto on the lips. He widened his eyes in surprised and relaxed, smiling as he closed his eyes, returning the kiss.

'_Well, that's a nice treat…'_ thought Naruto, enjoying the kiss.


End file.
